fall '08 semester.

some know how rough this semester has been for me.
if you didn't know, no worries~ i didn't tell many.
but circumstances have kind of screwed me up academically.

i know that i don't really have anything to blame for my lack of preparation. if i had been stronger in dealing with the problems that i ran into, then i would have had enough peace of mind to study ahead of time.

what am i supposed to do now that the time has come when all the studying that i haven't done is going to come hit me in the face? hard?

pray for me. that's all i can really ask for. 10 seconds will do.
pray that i can focus; something that i haven't been able to do since the second week into school.
pray that i won't dwell on my lack of preparation and actively try my best in these final hours.

as for the issues i've been having.
i've been telling people that i'm doing fine.
nothing drastic has happened to make me feel any worse than i have been. but the weight on my heart that has steadily been growing heavier throughout the year is still pressing down on me. i haven't been able to really pray. words leave my mouth but my heart isn't there. it is frustrating as i can't exactly pinpoint what is truly wrong with me so i can ask God to heal it.

if anybody has any words of advice. lOl. please share. it's a lot to ask during finals, but this struggle of mine has plagued me for a long time.

sorry for this kind of depressing post everyone.